


i was driving all night just so i could feel you by my side

by spirithouse



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Meetings, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, One Shot, Online Dating, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirithouse/pseuds/spirithouse
Summary: The night before Soonyoung is supposed to meet Jihoon, he cries.





	i was driving all night just so i could feel you by my side

 

 

 

The night before Soonyoung is supposed to meet Jihoon, he cries.

 

He’s sitting on Joshua’s bed, watching condensation from his smoothie cup drip onto his legs, and listening to Joshua explain some online game, when the back of his eyes burn up. Soonyoung sucks in his bottom lip, throat immediately closing up, and hot tears join the cold drops on his lap.

 

“And the soundtrack’s really---oh, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Joshua scoots closer to Soonyoung, hand touching his arm, and for some reason that makes Soonyoung cry faster, especially when Joshua starts rubbing his skin. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Joshua says softly, now rubbing Soonyoung’s back.

 

Joshua already knows the reason. Soonyoung’s mentioned it before, but Joshua wants him to speak it outloud.

 

“I--I can’t do it,” Soonyoung coughs, rubbing his eyes and trying to keep his sobs down. “I’m not ready to see Jihoon.”

 

It’s late at night and Soonyoung is crying on his cousin’s bed because he thinks too much. He arrived at Joshua’s home two days ago, and he’s still exhausted from the hours long road trip it took to get there, and trying to prepare himself for the main reason for his visit.

 

Tomorrow, Soonyoung’s going to meet his boyfriend for the first time.

 

Joshua hands Soonyoung a tissue but he still chooses to wipe his eyes and nose on his shirt. His shoulders aren’t shaking as much, and his tears are slowing down, but his body still feels like a boulder. Bones too heavy for him to move and his brain a clustered mess.

 

“I don’t see how you’re not ready,” Joshua says. “You’ve been planning this for a while.”

 

Soonyoung shrugs and keeps his vision down on his lap. Joshua wasn’t wrong. For an entire year, Soonyoung and Jihoon have made plans for Soonyoung to come out and visit Jihoon for a few days. It’s all Soonyoung’s been looking forward to, crossing off the days in his planner, and installing countdown timers on all of his SNS. He’s been working hard to save up because he wanted to make an effort to finally see Jihoon and not just stay far away.

 

They’ve been together for a year now, all of it long distance, and something that still mystifies Soonyoung. A lot has happened in a year and yet he still adores Jihoon like the first day he decided to be brave and send Jihoon a message online.

 

Jihoon wants to see him. He sent Soonyoung a text a few minutes ago saying how he can’t sleep because he’s too excited. He even sent a cute selfie of him with his dog and the caption, _even Ramona can’t wait to see you ♥_

 

There really isn’t a reason for Soonyoung to be scared and yet here he is, making a baby of himself in front of Joshua.

 

“It’s just, it’s like.” Soonyoung stops, swallows back the phlegm building up in his throat and nods when Joshua tells him to take his time. “I don’t know. I’m really scared. ‘Cause like people and interactions can be completely different in real life than they are online or through phones and like? It’s gonna be weird. I’m not gonna know what to do. He’s gonna think I’m a fraud.”

 

The tears start up again and there must be a full moon out because Soonyoung is never this emotional. Only sometimes. He wipes his face off on his shirt again even as Joshua gestures toward the tissue on the bed. “I bet his dog won’t even like me.” Soonyoung drinks his smoothie to keep from speaking more.

 

“Well, you’re already here, and you can’t drive all the way back home now.” Soonyoung shrugs at Joshua’s response and continues to suck down his drink. “Does Jihoon know how you feel?” Joshua asks.

 

Soonyoung mumbles around his straw. “Kind of. Yeah. I told him I might cry when I see him.” He places his cup on the floor and stretches out full on the bed, letting out something between a sigh and a scream.

 

Joshua knocks at his legs. “I’ve never been in this kind of situation before, so I’m not sure what to say, or if you want me to say anything?” Soonyoung shrugs again. He’s not sure what he’s looking for. All his tears have dried up and left behind exhaustion. He didn’t want to think anymore.

 

Joshua ponders over his words quietly before replying. “It’s okay to freak out. It’s okay to be nervous. But you’re gonna see Jihoon soon, and I know you’ve been really excited for that. He’s gonna be _right there_ , and it’ll be okay. You’ll have a lot of fun together. You always tell me how you can talk to him about anything, yeah?”

 

“Yeah . . .”

 

“So, if you start feeling uncertain about anything, just tell him. From what you’ve told me about him, I don’t see why he wouldn’t be receptive or understanding of your feelings.”

 

Everything that’s been said cycles through Soonyoung’s head, and he feels a little lighter, a little less panicky. If he keeps telling himself _it’s okay, it’ll be fine_ eventually his head will hopefully start to believe it and the anxiety will turn into a tiny ball he can ignore.

 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung says, feeling his body sink further into the mattress. He knows he looks like a mess. His face always looks sunburned after he cries and his eyes bloodshot and there’s probably a bunch of snot on his shirt. “Sorry you got stuck with the uncool crybaby cousin.”

 

“It’s all good,” Joshua snorts, stealing the rest of Soonyoung’s smoothie. “So you wanna play the game or what?”

  


* * *

 

  


 

> **Soonyoung  
>  ** _be there in 5 mins!!!!! :ooo_
> 
>  
> 
> **♥ my dream boy ♥  
> ** _:)  
>  _ _i love you  
>  _ _i’m so glad you’re here_

  


It’s possibly a little creepy that Soonyoung’s just sitting in Jihoon’s driveway, silent, and the car quickly heating up from the summer sun. The neighbor’s are going to call the cops on him for suspicious activity and the only explanation Soonyoung has for them is he’s too scared to get out and knock on Jihoon’s door. He thinks he sees one of the window curtains ruffle. A family member has probably alerted Jihoon to his arrival. Maybe Soonyoung will die of heatstroke before he comes out.

 

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, getting out of the car. The sun is beaming bright and the neighborhood is relatively quiet. Everything’s calm. Soonyoung needs to be, too. “It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m fine.”

 

Soonyoung stands in front of Jihoon’s door and despite how there’s a sudden drop in his body, his vision blurs, and his throat chokes up, he knocks.

 

The collar of his brand new shirt (that he picked out just to see Jihoon!) is soaked with tears by the time Jihoon answers the door. The sun’s in Soonyoung’s eyes, or there’s actually a shiny halo and a choir of angels singing above Jihoon, but Jihoon is absolutely glowing and Soonyoung’s afraid his heart might give out.

 

Jihoon calls his name, and Soonyoung tries to say something, but they’re both tripping over themselves to hug each other. Soonyoung nearly drapes himself over Jihoon, getting tears in his hair, and he can’t get over the fact that _Jihoon is right there_ and they’re able to feel each other.

 

“Baby, don’t cry,” Jihoon sniffles, and it didn’t occur to Soonyoung that Jihoon might cry, too.

 

“Hi,” Soonyoung breathes, wiping his eyes on Jihoon’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

 

Jihoon says he loves him, and Soonyoung stops crying long enough to say it back.

 

 

 

 

 

  
  



End file.
